The Things I've Learned

Turns out: not a good idea to give a fan your cell phone and reply to rapid-fire text messages. They won't stop. And the guy is sure to be a creeper. That is, if you aren't looking for the desperate clingy-types.

So it's time to start thinking up good excuses to never speak to someone again. I was going to tell Mr. Music Man that I couldn't make Tuesday because I didn't book my tickets back to NYC from homecoming soon enough, so I have to come back Tuesday instead of Monday. Then it occurred to me that I don't really want to reschedule this one.

In brainstorming with Ashley, I suggested I could use the good ole "family emergency" excuse, but was concerned it might be too obvious. Ashley reminded me that obvious might not be a bad thing if I really don't want to ever hear from Mr. Music Man again. So I went with that one.

NOTE: I know this all sounds very harsh, but this kid literally sends me at least 10 texts a day, and I have never once initiated them. I only respond. That's not cool.

So we were brainstorming other good excuses:

1) The "oh-something-came-up-at-work" excuse
2) The "I have the Swine" excuse
3) The "I-got-a-new-job-and-am-moving" excuse

And our newest gem:
4) The "I-got-preggers-and-I'm-keeping-the-baby" excuse.

The reason this one works so well is because the guy will get very freaked out either because you are growing a tiny person in your uterus, or because you are promiscuous/careless enough to get preggers. So he's bound to be off your case for at least nine months. And, as Ashley said, if he comes back around after the "pregnancy", you know he's worth keeping. And you can look back on this moment as that funny "how-we-met" story to tell at parties. Or your wedding.