New (Belated) Year's Resolution

I realized recently that I have a problem. I don't know if you can tell, but I don't often hold back information; I'm honest and descriptive. When I don't explicitly say what I'm thinking, you can often read my emotions and thoughts across my face.

Some things, however, are better left unsaid.

I guess you could say it started this summer, right after I broke up with my most recent boyfriend of one year. You could blame it on my inexperience with the Single Status, or my general brazenness, but I turned to a friend at the time (someone I had used to sleep with) and asked him point blank: "So, are we going to continue to be just friends, or are we going to start having sex again?"

He eventually chose neither. Oops.

Then there was the friend from home. When he tried to back out of plans I told him "Too bad. We were definitely going to have sex tonight." This guy showed up five minutes later.

So I guess I thought I'd try it again.

Texting a guy I'd seen a few times before, I was quite drunk and upset that we hadn't slept together yet. So, in my infinite wisdom, I called him lazy when he said he was going home to sleep (at 3am, mind you). He balked, to which I replied "Just sayin, it's a sad day when a guy is too tired to get laid."

Like I said, I have a problem. I can pretend to be coy for only so long before I betray my obvious, visceral needs; and that just isn't ladylike or sexy, regardless of what 5 vodka-sodas may tell you.

So my new New Year's Resolution: stop telling boys I want to sex them. It's not cute, and everyone knows it (but me, apparently).

Dive 75

This guy made me laugh on chat before we even met, so I had to go on a date with him. I wasn't sure if he was cute (and I'm still not), but I was confident that the date would go well.

It did.

We went to a grimy dive that serves good beer (I don't drink beer) and talked a bit about improv comedy, theater acting, and meditating on trains. Then we talked about children and going to Africa, and Chuck Palahniuk and pearl diving. And, before it got too late, we decided to play Connect Four. I won something like 5 out of 6 times. They always say that you should let the guy win so he feels more masculine and powerful, but I am far too competitive for that shit. So I was sitting there, thinking that I should be letting him win, but not being able to do it.

Then I didn't hear from him for a while. The male ego is nothing to be trifled with, apparently.