Finally had a nice date. Didn't start out that way, though. In fact it started out pretty awkward:
"Sorry I'm so late, that's totally lame of me." Thirty minutes past our agreed-upon date starting time, Mr. Tardy for the Party just got out of work. And I'm already drunk. Nice. I'm beginning to think I need to learn how to work it for free drinks and food from these datemen. And that maybe next time I won't pregame dates that involve primarily (OK, only) drinks.
So, given Mr. Tardy is not ready for my glorious presence, I walk around Long Island City for a while. I would move here in a heartbeat. It has the most beautiful waterfront with a panoramic view of midtown-to-downtown Manhattan, and all of the buildings are adorable brownstones. As I'm wandering, I consider creating an alter ego for this date, since I haven't ever done so before.
Me: From CT, schooled in B'more, want to be a nurse
Le Femme: OK, so far we have to be the same (thank you, OKC profile)
Me: awkward
Le Femme: not
Me: ...
Le Femme: rides motorcycles, dates only arty boys...used to be a lesbian? (MUST CHECK WITH ROOMMATE BEFORE USING THIS LAST FACT)
Me: drunk
Le Femme: sexy
I think we're off to a good start.
OK, alter ego prepared
*NOTE* Me: not a good liar
Needless to say, I get to the bar and completely forget about utilizing an alter ego at all, which is a shame because that could have been really funny. Mr. Tardy ends up being a really cool guy, and we have some really nice conversations about art and therapy. Nice. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't use that alter ego in the long run anyway.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Date Number 3
This date was far more normal than the first two. In fact, he was so normal it made me nervous that I wasn't quite as normal as he was. Well, he also didn't start things off on the right foot.
He asked me on a coffee date. NOTE: this is probably the least-threatening offer ever. Good move, guy. So I asked him where he lived, for the purpose of picking a coffee shop location. The response?
"NYC, silly. LOL"
...clearly
So I tried again: I asked if he had a favorite neighborhood.
"Not really. All I know is some are gayer than others. LOL"
...NOTE: I'm not LOL-ing. In fact, I'm a little offended. And, we are now on Fail 2. So I try one last time. I tell him I'm coming from the Upper West, but need to be in the Lower East later, so if he wants to choose somewhere in there...
"Whatever you want"
MAKE A DECISION FOR THE LOVE OF PUPPIES!
After this final Fail (Fail 3) I choose a spot in the LES. He arrives a little bit earlier than me, so I find him waiting outside and we start talking about his job in Brooklyn. I ask if he lives out in Brooklyn. He says no. I ask if it's Manhattan. He says no. I kind of smile and take a sip of my coffee, realizing that maybe he doesn't want me to know where he lives, when he finally says that he hails from the Upper Bronx.
Fail 4: Should have just agreed to meeting in the Upper West.
He's a soft-speaker, which immediately makes me nervous, so I attempt to avoid the possibility of not hearing him by doing all of the talking. He doesn't mind my rambling (I blame it on the caffeine, just in case), but eventually gets a few words in here or there. He tells me about work, about his family, and about the Dominican Republic. Finally, he asks me to tell him a secret. I reply with a tight smile and tell him I don't have secrets. He tells me that of course I do. NOTE: I hate this question. I don't think there is any conceivable question I hate more than this one. If it's a secret, it's probably a secret for a good reason, so why in all the world would I tell a complete stranger? So he tells me that he has a secret: that his sister is pregnant. I'm not sure how to react to this, but he assures me that she is happy about the pregnancy (and happily married). So I ask him when she's going to tell their mother. He says she already did. It occurs to me at this point that his secret isn't actually a secret. Curious.
So we're talking and one of my favorite songs starts playing. I stop mid-sentence to acknowledge this fact and enjoy it a bit. I dive into a conversation about how great Pandora is because it makes a personalized radio station. My date replies "Oh, so you're artistic."
Confused. "No...I'm just pretty good at appreciating art?"
"But you play an instrument"
"...no. I just like...music."
Anyway, then we have a truly uncomfortable conversation about relationships and friends blah blah blah, and turns out when I'm nervous I have a habit of referencing all the information I have gathered over the years regarding neurons; I explained to him why it was so incredible that he learned English in high school. Multiple times. There might not be a second date here.
He asked me on a coffee date. NOTE: this is probably the least-threatening offer ever. Good move, guy. So I asked him where he lived, for the purpose of picking a coffee shop location. The response?
"NYC, silly. LOL"
...clearly
So I tried again: I asked if he had a favorite neighborhood.
"Not really. All I know is some are gayer than others. LOL"
...NOTE: I'm not LOL-ing. In fact, I'm a little offended. And, we are now on Fail 2. So I try one last time. I tell him I'm coming from the Upper West, but need to be in the Lower East later, so if he wants to choose somewhere in there...
"Whatever you want"
MAKE A DECISION FOR THE LOVE OF PUPPIES!
After this final Fail (Fail 3) I choose a spot in the LES. He arrives a little bit earlier than me, so I find him waiting outside and we start talking about his job in Brooklyn. I ask if he lives out in Brooklyn. He says no. I ask if it's Manhattan. He says no. I kind of smile and take a sip of my coffee, realizing that maybe he doesn't want me to know where he lives, when he finally says that he hails from the Upper Bronx.
Fail 4: Should have just agreed to meeting in the Upper West.
He's a soft-speaker, which immediately makes me nervous, so I attempt to avoid the possibility of not hearing him by doing all of the talking. He doesn't mind my rambling (I blame it on the caffeine, just in case), but eventually gets a few words in here or there. He tells me about work, about his family, and about the Dominican Republic. Finally, he asks me to tell him a secret. I reply with a tight smile and tell him I don't have secrets. He tells me that of course I do. NOTE: I hate this question. I don't think there is any conceivable question I hate more than this one. If it's a secret, it's probably a secret for a good reason, so why in all the world would I tell a complete stranger? So he tells me that he has a secret: that his sister is pregnant. I'm not sure how to react to this, but he assures me that she is happy about the pregnancy (and happily married). So I ask him when she's going to tell their mother. He says she already did. It occurs to me at this point that his secret isn't actually a secret. Curious.
So we're talking and one of my favorite songs starts playing. I stop mid-sentence to acknowledge this fact and enjoy it a bit. I dive into a conversation about how great Pandora is because it makes a personalized radio station. My date replies "Oh, so you're artistic."
Confused. "No...I'm just pretty good at appreciating art?"
"But you play an instrument"
"...no. I just like...music."
Anyway, then we have a truly uncomfortable conversation about relationships and friends blah blah blah, and turns out when I'm nervous I have a habit of referencing all the information I have gathered over the years regarding neurons; I explained to him why it was so incredible that he learned English in high school. Multiple times. There might not be a second date here.
Friday, October 9, 2009
The Things I've Learned
Turns out: not a good idea to give a fan your cell phone and reply to rapid-fire text messages. They won't stop. And the guy is sure to be a creeper. That is, if you aren't looking for the desperate clingy-types.
So it's time to start thinking up good excuses to never speak to someone again. I was going to tell Mr. Music Man that I couldn't make Tuesday because I didn't book my tickets back to NYC from homecoming soon enough, so I have to come back Tuesday instead of Monday. Then it occurred to me that I don't really want to reschedule this one.
In brainstorming with Ashley, I suggested I could use the good ole "family emergency" excuse, but was concerned it might be too obvious. Ashley reminded me that obvious might not be a bad thing if I really don't want to ever hear from Mr. Music Man again. So I went with that one.
NOTE: I know this all sounds very harsh, but this kid literally sends me at least 10 texts a day, and I have never once initiated them. I only respond. That's not cool.
So we were brainstorming other good excuses:
1) The "oh-something-came-up-at-work" excuse
2) The "I have the Swine" excuse
3) The "I-got-a-new-job-and-am-moving" excuse
And our newest gem:
4) The "I-got-preggers-and-I'm-keeping-the-baby" excuse.
The reason this one works so well is because the guy will get very freaked out either because you are growing a tiny person in your uterus, or because you are promiscuous/careless enough to get preggers. So he's bound to be off your case for at least nine months. And, as Ashley said, if he comes back around after the "pregnancy", you know he's worth keeping. And you can look back on this moment as that funny "how-we-met" story to tell at parties. Or your wedding.
So it's time to start thinking up good excuses to never speak to someone again. I was going to tell Mr. Music Man that I couldn't make Tuesday because I didn't book my tickets back to NYC from homecoming soon enough, so I have to come back Tuesday instead of Monday. Then it occurred to me that I don't really want to reschedule this one.
In brainstorming with Ashley, I suggested I could use the good ole "family emergency" excuse, but was concerned it might be too obvious. Ashley reminded me that obvious might not be a bad thing if I really don't want to ever hear from Mr. Music Man again. So I went with that one.
NOTE: I know this all sounds very harsh, but this kid literally sends me at least 10 texts a day, and I have never once initiated them. I only respond. That's not cool.
So we were brainstorming other good excuses:
1) The "oh-something-came-up-at-work" excuse
2) The "I have the Swine" excuse
3) The "I-got-a-new-job-and-am-moving" excuse
And our newest gem:
4) The "I-got-preggers-and-I'm-keeping-the-baby" excuse.
The reason this one works so well is because the guy will get very freaked out either because you are growing a tiny person in your uterus, or because you are promiscuous/careless enough to get preggers. So he's bound to be off your case for at least nine months. And, as Ashley said, if he comes back around after the "pregnancy", you know he's worth keeping. And you can look back on this moment as that funny "how-we-met" story to tell at parties. Or your wedding.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
A message from my most recent admirer
This guy is 34 and has no pictures. Here is a summary of his "About Me" Section:
- I spent a good deal of my childhood in South & Central America either on a boat or in death-trap RV
- I've owned my fair share of exotic pets that bite for no apparent reason
- I take my "Word of the Day" calendar quite seriously
- I don't see the point in beating around the proverbial bush when it comes to why I'm on this site. Most guys will tell you they're interested in more than just sex, and they're lying. Why not be honest from the get go?
- I have stories that will keep you entertained for hours pre and post-coitus
Not so crazy about:
- Wind
- Being awoken from a fantastic wet dream
- Pebbles in my shoes
- Douchebags from all walks of life
- Madonna
A sexually attractive woman who can speak in full sentences (for post-coital conversing) and won't shy away from what comes naturally
Please have something to say beyond banal chit-chat, as I am not a fan of smalltalk
Most seduction is in the mystery of it all - yes, even for men
EWWWWW MEN ARE GROSS
- I spent a good deal of my childhood in South & Central America either on a boat or in death-trap RV
- I've owned my fair share of exotic pets that bite for no apparent reason
- I take my "Word of the Day" calendar quite seriously
- I don't see the point in beating around the proverbial bush when it comes to why I'm on this site. Most guys will tell you they're interested in more than just sex, and they're lying. Why not be honest from the get go?
- I have stories that will keep you entertained for hours pre and post-coitus
Not so crazy about:
- Wind
- Being awoken from a fantastic wet dream
- Pebbles in my shoes
- Douchebags from all walks of life
- Madonna
A sexually attractive woman who can speak in full sentences (for post-coital conversing) and won't shy away from what comes naturally
Please have something to say beyond banal chit-chat, as I am not a fan of smalltalk
Most seduction is in the mystery of it all - yes, even for men
EWWWWW MEN ARE GROSS
Date Number 2...kind of
So after the matchmaker disaster, Elysha and I went to go meet up with OKCupid man number 2. We'll refer to him as Mr. Music Man. Before leaving, I had stalked him down on youtube and myspace music to see what he's all about. He writes musicals. No, really, he writes showtunes. But we are supposed to go on a date next Tuesday to a Knicks' game, so he meets the qualification of liking sports, at least. NOTE: I find this all slightly confusing.
Then, I find a video of him performing a song he wrote, and he is extremely attractive in this role. I decide that as long as he is in a band and writes music that isn't show-tuney, he could be OK. He tells me that his best friend, Kevy (presumably short for Kevin) is coming to NYC for the first time ever. I'm thinking that maybe his friend would be cute and Elysha would be into it.
Imagine how surprised I was to find out that Kevy was short for Kevyn, and Kevyn was a girl. A lesbian girl. She was actually really cool, despite the fact that she is underage (Mr. Music Man is only 21). Even more surprised to find that Mr. Music Man is tiny. Well, not shorter than me, but a small person. I've taken to Ashley's rule: if a boy's shoulders aren't wider that your hips, then it's over. And Mr. Music Man is a close call. He also wore an ugly sweater, and halfway through the first drink wrapped it around his waist. Oh dear.
So now I have a date with him Tuesday as well, and I haven't decided whether or not to go on it. He is very small, but he has good face bones. He also texted me while we were at the bar, and told me that "he kind of liked me". I texted back "you...barely know me" but thought that was too harsh, so I elaborated, "but no worries! we will definitely hang out again". I might stick it out. Maybe he'll write a song about me. That would be nice.
Then, I find a video of him performing a song he wrote, and he is extremely attractive in this role. I decide that as long as he is in a band and writes music that isn't show-tuney, he could be OK. He tells me that his best friend, Kevy (presumably short for Kevin) is coming to NYC for the first time ever. I'm thinking that maybe his friend would be cute and Elysha would be into it.
Imagine how surprised I was to find out that Kevy was short for Kevyn, and Kevyn was a girl. A lesbian girl. She was actually really cool, despite the fact that she is underage (Mr. Music Man is only 21). Even more surprised to find that Mr. Music Man is tiny. Well, not shorter than me, but a small person. I've taken to Ashley's rule: if a boy's shoulders aren't wider that your hips, then it's over. And Mr. Music Man is a close call. He also wore an ugly sweater, and halfway through the first drink wrapped it around his waist. Oh dear.
So now I have a date with him Tuesday as well, and I haven't decided whether or not to go on it. He is very small, but he has good face bones. He also texted me while we were at the bar, and told me that "he kind of liked me". I texted back "you...barely know me" but thought that was too harsh, so I elaborated, "but no worries! we will definitely hang out again". I might stick it out. Maybe he'll write a song about me. That would be nice.
L Ronis, where is my husband??
Last night, Elysha and I ventured out to a reception held by a New York Matchmaker (who is fabulous, by the way). And I tried to bring my online game into the real world. Result? Epic Fail. I may have mad online game, but in the real world...not so much.
Elysha, on the other hand, started talking up this very tall man from Wales. I decided to capitalize on her skillz and went up to start talking to Steven-from-Wales' friend, Tony. First thing I noticed about Tony was his big ears. We had a pleasant enough conversation though, I think. After a few minutes he says, "I'm going to ask you out, and I'd like to tell you why."
....OK
"I feel like you have a lot of opinions, and we could really go back and forth in a dialogue"
Mind you, I'm wearing heels and trying not to spill my sake martini at this point. I laughed nervously and said something to the tune of "well, yes, I certainly am opinionated", and tried to move on from that moment. NOTE: this was not a great pick-up line. Maybe don't tell someone why you are asking for their number. I would have rather he told me I was gorgeous, or funny...not opinionated. But I shouldn't really be surprised.
So he and I keep talking, and I get a text message, which I respond to. Big mistake. I'm talking to him while texting a very short message (we are talkin like five words here) and Tony says, "You know, I'm going to be honest with you here, I really don't approve of this"
I looked at him, slightly befuddled.
"The whole texting-while-talking thing. I need you to be paying attention to me. So, just let me know when you're done"
I'm done at this point, since it was a five-word text. So I told him so, and tried to salvage the conversation with something else. Meanwhile, I get another text. I feel it vibrate against my rib cage and contemplate how I'm going to handle the situation. I tell Tony I have another text, so I'll just be a minute...
"You know, I feel like you really didn't appreciate my comment"
I kind of smirk and say dryly, "No, it's good to be upfront about...these things"
At which point he tells me he has to go mingle. I suggest he do just that. Why I felt validated in getting upset about him getting upset with me for rudely answering a text while we were talking? Only the sake martini can say.
So Elysha is still talking to Steve-from-Wales when his bald friend comes storming up to introduce himself to me. I get to touch his head and am thinking that he is pretty cute despite the lack of hair when a chubby little man intrudes to say "dude, this fat ugly chick just tried to ask me what's up. I was like uhhh, sorry, I'm near-sighted. She asked me if that meant I could see things that were far away [insert laugh of disbelief] and I said no, I could only see things from up close, and she looked better from far away". I actually find this hilarious, and laugh out loud at his sheer ludicrousness. Then he turns to me and asks me what my favorite position is. Being the asshole that I am, just to throw him off I tell him it depends on the penis size. NOTE: obscene men are rarely thrown off by a girl with a dirty mouth. Might be best just to pretend to be unnerved and blush in the future. So then he positions himself between the bald guy and me and says "I would so make out with you right now". I tell him that isn't going to happen so he should probably just give up immediately. NOTE: Next time I shouldn't humor the goofball when I might be interested in his friend. Bald guy didn't come back after his friend intervened.
Then they all went to get steaks. At 11pm. Dating is hard.
Elysha, on the other hand, started talking up this very tall man from Wales. I decided to capitalize on her skillz and went up to start talking to Steven-from-Wales' friend, Tony. First thing I noticed about Tony was his big ears. We had a pleasant enough conversation though, I think. After a few minutes he says, "I'm going to ask you out, and I'd like to tell you why."
....OK
"I feel like you have a lot of opinions, and we could really go back and forth in a dialogue"
Mind you, I'm wearing heels and trying not to spill my sake martini at this point. I laughed nervously and said something to the tune of "well, yes, I certainly am opinionated", and tried to move on from that moment. NOTE: this was not a great pick-up line. Maybe don't tell someone why you are asking for their number. I would have rather he told me I was gorgeous, or funny...not opinionated. But I shouldn't really be surprised.
So he and I keep talking, and I get a text message, which I respond to. Big mistake. I'm talking to him while texting a very short message (we are talkin like five words here) and Tony says, "You know, I'm going to be honest with you here, I really don't approve of this"
I looked at him, slightly befuddled.
"The whole texting-while-talking thing. I need you to be paying attention to me. So, just let me know when you're done"
I'm done at this point, since it was a five-word text. So I told him so, and tried to salvage the conversation with something else. Meanwhile, I get another text. I feel it vibrate against my rib cage and contemplate how I'm going to handle the situation. I tell Tony I have another text, so I'll just be a minute...
"You know, I feel like you really didn't appreciate my comment"
I kind of smirk and say dryly, "No, it's good to be upfront about...these things"
At which point he tells me he has to go mingle. I suggest he do just that. Why I felt validated in getting upset about him getting upset with me for rudely answering a text while we were talking? Only the sake martini can say.
So Elysha is still talking to Steve-from-Wales when his bald friend comes storming up to introduce himself to me. I get to touch his head and am thinking that he is pretty cute despite the lack of hair when a chubby little man intrudes to say "dude, this fat ugly chick just tried to ask me what's up. I was like uhhh, sorry, I'm near-sighted. She asked me if that meant I could see things that were far away [insert laugh of disbelief] and I said no, I could only see things from up close, and she looked better from far away". I actually find this hilarious, and laugh out loud at his sheer ludicrousness. Then he turns to me and asks me what my favorite position is. Being the asshole that I am, just to throw him off I tell him it depends on the penis size. NOTE: obscene men are rarely thrown off by a girl with a dirty mouth. Might be best just to pretend to be unnerved and blush in the future. So then he positions himself between the bald guy and me and says "I would so make out with you right now". I tell him that isn't going to happen so he should probably just give up immediately. NOTE: Next time I shouldn't humor the goofball when I might be interested in his friend. Bald guy didn't come back after his friend intervened.
Then they all went to get steaks. At 11pm. Dating is hard.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Date Number 1: Recap
What we learned last night about dating:
1) It is not fun to sit with someone who talks about their ex. Or their dating style
2) Probably don't try to make future plans with the date...while still in the middle of the first date.
3) Pickles aren't always a safe topic of conversation
4) Probably don't use the same jokes you have on your OK Cupid profile
5) Probably do talk about the quirky things in your profile, like if you do Renaissance Fairs, for example
What we learned about what I find attractive:
1) ...This guy isn't it
2) I need the guy to like football, or some sport, even if I don't. Who knew this would end up being so important after hours of forced football-game watching. There is something to be said for a good 'ole red-blooded man
3) Even though technology things are cool, it's not attractive to feel like an idiot when he is rambling about things I don't really understand
The biggest question to leave off on:
I always thought it was nicest to go on a date with someone, even if you don't think you are going to find them attractive. Figured it was important to give a person a chance. But if you just spend the date worrying about if this guy you don't find attractive is going to kiss you, maybe that isn't quite so nice after all.
1) It is not fun to sit with someone who talks about their ex. Or their dating style
2) Probably don't try to make future plans with the date...while still in the middle of the first date.
3) Pickles aren't always a safe topic of conversation
4) Probably don't use the same jokes you have on your OK Cupid profile
5) Probably do talk about the quirky things in your profile, like if you do Renaissance Fairs, for example
What we learned about what I find attractive:
1) ...This guy isn't it
2) I need the guy to like football, or some sport, even if I don't. Who knew this would end up being so important after hours of forced football-game watching. There is something to be said for a good 'ole red-blooded man
3) Even though technology things are cool, it's not attractive to feel like an idiot when he is rambling about things I don't really understand
The biggest question to leave off on:
I always thought it was nicest to go on a date with someone, even if you don't think you are going to find them attractive. Figured it was important to give a person a chance. But if you just spend the date worrying about if this guy you don't find attractive is going to kiss you, maybe that isn't quite so nice after all.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Date Number 1
So, I lived through my very first date. Appropriately, he happened to be the very first guy to message me on OKCupid. And...well, it could have been a lot worse.
I got to pick the place, I showed up earlier than him (by kind of a lot because his cab driver accidentally dropped him off ten blocks too soon). We ended up going for drinks, though he first suggested we "bake something and watch a movie". I opted no because (a) I'm not fool; I know what a movie leads to and (b) I've seen enough horror movies slash seen enough late night news stories to know it's never a good idea to be alone in a house with a guy you don't know.
So, I'm waiting at the bar, reading my brand new NYC Zagat guide and chatting with the female bartender, and he eventually walks in and sits down next to me. NOTE: good move on getting there early and sitting down--there was no awkward do-we-hug-or-shake-hands moment. As soon as he sits down, I know I'm not attracted to him, but think maybe I could be. By the middle of this first date, I already know I don't want to kiss him. Awkward. So I spend half the event worrying that he was going to try to kiss me (reference to an extremely awkward accidental date I had with my broker who settled for kissing my cheek at the end of the ordeal), and shoving fries in my face because I was really hungry. Cute?
While I'm fretting about him trying to kiss me, he's telling me about the difference between milkshakes and frappes, and my eyes start to glaze over. Then he tells me about the work he does which involves just enough technology and business that I have no idea what is going on. So I decide I need to save the conversation, and bring it back to: pickles. (Did you know that Sunday was International Pickle Day? Well, now my first First Date does too.) Oddly enough, the kid knew a LOT about pickles. Turns out he cans them himself. Now, don't get me wrong, I love pickles more than the next guy, but I don't really care how they are made. All I know is that little Vlasic stork brings me the good stuff, and I like them better when they're sliced.
About an hour into the date, he tells me that he wants to take me out again, and tries to make plans for a date two. And I'm still thinking that I don't want him to try to kiss me, and that if I go out for a second date he is DEFINITELY going to try to kiss me, so I play it off with a I'll-have-to-check-my-schedule, but he keeps talking about Italian dinners and elegant desserts until finally a stand-up comedian starts up at the bar. And he starts talking about being single in NYC and dating. I decide it's time to leave. He walks me to the restaurant where I'm meeting some friends from dinner, we hug, and he leaves. (Good news! He didn't try to kiss me, even after all that fretting.)
While I'm sitting at the bar, waiting for my friends to arrive (since I'm there about 30 minutes early), I text my mom to tell her that I lived through my very first date! She asks how it went and I said just fine, but I don't think there is going to be a second date. Her response?: "Oh, did you scare him away??" Thanks, mom.
I got to pick the place, I showed up earlier than him (by kind of a lot because his cab driver accidentally dropped him off ten blocks too soon). We ended up going for drinks, though he first suggested we "bake something and watch a movie". I opted no because (a) I'm not fool; I know what a movie leads to and (b) I've seen enough horror movies slash seen enough late night news stories to know it's never a good idea to be alone in a house with a guy you don't know.
So, I'm waiting at the bar, reading my brand new NYC Zagat guide and chatting with the female bartender, and he eventually walks in and sits down next to me. NOTE: good move on getting there early and sitting down--there was no awkward do-we-hug-or-shake-hands moment. As soon as he sits down, I know I'm not attracted to him, but think maybe I could be. By the middle of this first date, I already know I don't want to kiss him. Awkward. So I spend half the event worrying that he was going to try to kiss me (reference to an extremely awkward accidental date I had with my broker who settled for kissing my cheek at the end of the ordeal), and shoving fries in my face because I was really hungry. Cute?
While I'm fretting about him trying to kiss me, he's telling me about the difference between milkshakes and frappes, and my eyes start to glaze over. Then he tells me about the work he does which involves just enough technology and business that I have no idea what is going on. So I decide I need to save the conversation, and bring it back to: pickles. (Did you know that Sunday was International Pickle Day? Well, now my first First Date does too.) Oddly enough, the kid knew a LOT about pickles. Turns out he cans them himself. Now, don't get me wrong, I love pickles more than the next guy, but I don't really care how they are made. All I know is that little Vlasic stork brings me the good stuff, and I like them better when they're sliced.
About an hour into the date, he tells me that he wants to take me out again, and tries to make plans for a date two. And I'm still thinking that I don't want him to try to kiss me, and that if I go out for a second date he is DEFINITELY going to try to kiss me, so I play it off with a I'll-have-to-check-my-schedule, but he keeps talking about Italian dinners and elegant desserts until finally a stand-up comedian starts up at the bar. And he starts talking about being single in NYC and dating. I decide it's time to leave. He walks me to the restaurant where I'm meeting some friends from dinner, we hug, and he leaves. (Good news! He didn't try to kiss me, even after all that fretting.)
While I'm sitting at the bar, waiting for my friends to arrive (since I'm there about 30 minutes early), I text my mom to tell her that I lived through my very first date! She asks how it went and I said just fine, but I don't think there is going to be a second date. Her response?: "Oh, did you scare him away??" Thanks, mom.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Just a lil' research...
So Yahoo just posted an article titled "11 Reasons He Dumped You". Curious? Here they are:
(1) He got bored
(2) One of us was too serious. I'm guessing this either means she wanted him to call her every hour with updates, or she made a habit of dancing on bars in short skirts...then making out with the bartender.
(3) Burnout. (though I'm not sure how this is different from "he got bored")
(4) He was tempted to cheat
(5) All of his friends broke up with their girlfriends (nice, guys)
(6) Their lives aren't matching up, usually meaning long-distance isn't working
(7) He got selfish. Read: he wanted to bone more ladies than one
(8) He thought he was into her, when really he wasn't
(9) His friends and/or family didn't like her
(10) He took her for granted
(11) She was too negative.
So what I'm getting from this is that dating sucks. And to keep smiling all the time.
(1) He got bored
(2) One of us was too serious. I'm guessing this either means she wanted him to call her every hour with updates, or she made a habit of dancing on bars in short skirts...then making out with the bartender.
(3) Burnout. (though I'm not sure how this is different from "he got bored")
(4) He was tempted to cheat
(5) All of his friends broke up with their girlfriends (nice, guys)
(6) Their lives aren't matching up, usually meaning long-distance isn't working
(7) He got selfish. Read: he wanted to bone more ladies than one
(8) He thought he was into her, when really he wasn't
(9) His friends and/or family didn't like her
(10) He took her for granted
(11) She was too negative.
So what I'm getting from this is that dating sucks. And to keep smiling all the time.
Dear 30-something Man: Yes, I am judging you
I have officially been messaged by 5 men in their mid-30s. I feel like there are two responses I could have in this situation:
(1) Do they not know how creepy that is?? They are messaging a 22-year-old girl on an online dating website. Gross.
(2) ....is he cute? I've always thought that George Clooney was a hottie.
But let's think about it this way: These men were starting middle school before I was born.
Hmmm....
(1) Do they not know how creepy that is?? They are messaging a 22-year-old girl on an online dating website. Gross.
(2) ....is he cute? I've always thought that George Clooney was a hottie.
But let's think about it this way: These men were starting middle school before I was born.
Hmmm....
Thursday, October 1, 2009
First noticeable side-effect of online dating
Yesterday, I mentioned to my coworker that I was positively exhausted. She asked cheerily if I had gone out the night before. My response?
No. Late night online-dating. I can't stop.
Who knew this could be so addictive?
Note: I am, again, exhausted today because I, again, stayed up late last night...online-dating.
No. Late night online-dating. I can't stop.
Who knew this could be so addictive?
Note: I am, again, exhausted today because I, again, stayed up late last night...online-dating.
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